and goes

Before my husband was diagnosed with a terminal illness I never realized that there are two worlds- the world of the healthy that most of us live in and the world of the people who are dying. I know - we are all dying but some of us know the name of the illness that will kill us and we even have a timeline or should I say a deadline awaiting us. This is something we rarely think about even though no one gets out of here alive but for people who know that they are dying and their caregivers it is all consuming. I always thought to myself when saying goodbye to my husband- will this be the last time I will say this to you or the last time I will see your face or the last time I will kiss you or hold your hand? It makes every word, every gesture take on a more important meaning. Maybe that is the way to live our lives by making every moment count, by making the most of every loving moment we share, after all you never know who you will spend your last moments with. I was lucky because my husband died in my arms just like I had spent the last year praying for. He was not afraid and he was not alone. He went off to join our son and all his family who had gone before him.