and so it goes

Isn't it strange how one loss can bring back so many other losses in your life? When my husband died I felt the loss of my son all over again even though it had taken place nearly fourteen years before. The difference was that I knew my husband was dying and my son died in a car accident so I was totally unprepared for his death. When your parents die you are an orphan, when your husband dies you are a widow but the death of a child is such a horrible loss that there isn't even a word for what you are then. The world goes on and your world has come to an end. I think that is where the anger comes from that people often describe as one of the steps of grieving. You can't believe that the sun still comes up and that birds still sing and that people still celebrate Christmas and birthdays and that life still goes on. But it does and now you are part of the world but not really connected to it- you feel isolated and removed from what everyone else is feeling.